If Only That Iguana Hadn't Shown Up!
by mystic-grim
Summary: “The plan would have worked if that bloody iguana hadn’t showed up,” said Ron. Its potion's class and you just know that Harry and Ron are up to something, well...maybe.
1. How It All Started!

Why hello. This shall be my second fiction and well it started out because of a journal assignment for my English class. If it shall ever be updated I shall never know! We had to write about an iguana… I'm not sure where the idea came from but I wrote the iguana into HP…Who knew that it would work. Well here you go! And now: **If Only That Iguana Hadn't Showed Up!**

**Chapter 1: How it all started**

            "The plan would have worked if that bloody iguana hadn't showed up," said Ron. As usual he and Harry had been up to something in potions class.

            "I bet it was Neville, probably transfigured his scales by accident," replied Harry. Ron and Harry had been trying to do something behind Hermione's back. They had planned to throw a batch of wet start fireworks into Crabbe and Goyle's cauldron, which just happened to contain a shrinking potion. They were hoping that it would hit Snape's nose, and shrink it. But before Ron could even put the fireworks into the cauldron, an iguana had appeared.

_~10 minutes earlier~_

            Every one had been quietly adding the last ingredient to their own potion, when they heard Neville gasp. Every one stopped, even Hermione who had been concentrating on lowering the temperature of her fire, and looked up. Hearing Neville gasp was a bad sign and every one knew it. Snape stalked over to Neville and looked down his elongated nose at him. "What have you done now?" he asked. 

            "No-N-Nothing," stuttered Neville, "Bu-but look!" Snape looked to where he was pointing, along with the rest of the class.  Snape's smirk slowly turned into a frown, and he muttered something that sounded like "crap", under his breath. Hermione, realizing what this meant, suddenly swayed on the spot and almost collapsed had it not been for Ron standing next to her. Ron just looked at her confused until Snape told them to leave, for the iguana had moved closer to Neville's potion. "Leave. NOW!" shouted Snape. Every one quickly left, glad to be let out early. 

_~Back to present~_

            Ron and Harry had walked half way down the hall when they had heard an explosion. "That sounded like the potion's class room," stated Hermione. The trio stopped, turned around, and let their mouths hang open. Smoke was issuing forth from the classroom door, and an utterly disheveled Snape walked out. 

            "Damn iguana! Doesn't Longbottom know what an iguana can do to a potion!?!" said a very irritated Snape as he walked off. The trio stood there silent for ten minutes before Ron started to laugh. Soon Hermione and Harry joined him. Once they had stopped laughing, they turned and started heading to the great hall. Once there they sat down and started to eat their lunch. "Good thing we didn't throw those fireworks," said Ron. Harry stopped what he was doing, and looked at Ron.

            "WHAT?!?!" said Hermione.

There you go. If you really like it I can write more… Voldie would come into play of course but tell me what you think!

Mystic Grim


	2. The Evil Plan!

            Hello! Thanks to Corundum Advance. She insisted I write another chapter and here it is! Now on to our favorite bad guy! **VOLDIE**!

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**Chapter 2: The Evil Plan!**

            Just outside Little Hanglton, in the Riddle mansion, a certain very evil person was laughing his head off. "Master, stop, or you will choke to death," said Wormtail. And as soon has he had said it Voldermort had started to cough. "Yes, yes you're quite right," he replied once he had stopped coughing. "Now," he continued, "how did the plan work out? Was Snape seething with displeasure?"

            "Yes, my lord. He fell for it; I do believe that he thinks a student placed the iguana in the classroom." Voldermort thought this over for a moment, and then asked, "Do you think he knows we are testing his loyalty?" "No, I do not think so," said Wormtail. "Good," stated Voldermort, as the walked towards a large mirror. "Do you know how this mirror works, Wormtail?" ask Voldermort. "No, my lord," answered Wormtail. "Then let me show you."

            "Reveal to me Hogwarts potion room," said Voldermort to the mirror. The mirror turned hazy, and clouds swirled in the middle. Once they had come to a stop you could see the potions classroom in the center of the mirror. As Wormtail stepped closer he noticed that there were scorch marks on several of the desks, and that Filch was cursing under his breath in the corner sweeping something up.  "Now," Voldermort said to the mirror, "Show me when the Iguana appeared." The mirror became cloudy again, and it the showed the classroom full of students, which happened to contain Harry Potter. 

As Wormtail looked closer he could see the iguana, and he then heard a gasp come from the student who was standing over the iguana. Voldermorts' smile just grew bigger as Snape walked up to the boy's cauldron and looked where he happened to be pointing. They heard Snape tell the class to leave, and as soon as the last student was out his eyes got wider. For the iguana had moved closer to the potion. Snape let out a very clear "shit", and pulled out his wand. But it happened to be too late for the iguana had moved up to the potion, and thinking it was water, touched it. Wormtail covered his eyes as the mirror showed a great flash of white light, followed by a loud noise. It soon faded, and by this time Voldermort started to laugh evilly again. Wormtail glanced at his master, and then back to the mirror only to see Snape stalk out of the classroom. Before the mirror clouded you could hear a very mad Snape yell: "Damn iguana! Doesn't Longbottom know what an iguana can do to a potion!?!" 

            "Do you not see how funny that is?" asked Voldermort to Wormtail, "Why are you not laughing?" Wormtail scared of his master let out a very nervous laugh. "Play it again," Voldermort said to his mirror, "NOW!" At this Wormtail slowly backed out of the room, wondering about his masters' sanity.

_~Back at Hogwarts~_

            Harry and Ron had been in very deep trouble with Hermione. She had stayed calm during lunch and through their next class, but once they had reached the common room after, she had let them have it. Sytherin's later swore they could hear her yelling from their own common room down in the dungeons. Hermione did not speak to them the rest of the night. However the next day she seemed to think they had been punished enough and was talking to them again. During breakfast the destruction of the potions classroom was the talk of the school. Many people were wondering how an iguana wound up there in the first time, since iguanas were not native to Scotland. Half of the school laid blame on Fred and George, but as they said "We can not claim honor for this trick, and we bow down before the marvelous trickster who beat us to this prank." Little did they know, or they would have chosen to reword that statement. 

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            Well thank you for taking your time to read this nice installment of **_If Only That Iguana Hadn't Showed Up!_ Also thanks to the reviewer: Kandy916! Thanks! Next time the Iguana returns, and another potions class. What class do you think the iguana should wreck?**

Mystic Grim


	3. The Woe's of Professor Trelawney

            Welcome once again to: **If Only That Iguana Hadn't Showed Up!** It's time for chapter 3 everyone! Aren't you glad, because I know I am! And now, thanks to reviewer _Professor Farfie_'s suggestion, the iguana will now interrupt good old Professor Trelawney's class! Oh… I'm also going to get rid of Frenz, he is still there he just doesn't teach any longer. AND this is in the 6th year by the way, so I guess Ron and Harry received owls for Trelawney's class. No matter how ridiculous their exams were. 

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            It had been a week since anyone had seen the iguana. Many people began to believe that it had died in the explosion, but that had not been the case. It just happened to be lying low in the Gryffindor 6th year dorms. Neville had successfully hidden Iggy, the iguana's name, in his part of the room. But what people didn't know was that the iguana was working for him. For you see Neville had heard the prophecy somehow, and had become insanely jealous of Harry. So he had hired the iguana for revenge. But what Neville didn't know, was that Iggy was also working for Voldermort. Neville mad at Iggy, for the Snape incident (but he didn't know any better), gave it one last chance to strike revenge on the boy-who-lived. And it just so happened to be in Professor Trelawney's class that the iguana had appeared again.

            Harry and Ron had climbed their way up the silver ladder, and walked to the nearest window table where they sat down. "Bugger, this room is worse than usual!" said Harry as he leaned over and opened the window. "I agree," replied Ron, as he moved his chair closer to the window, and Harry. Harry just looked at Ron with a raised eyebrow. "What?" asked Ron. Harry muttered 'nothing', and just shook his head. Once the last person climbed up the stairs, who just happened to be Neville, Professor Trelawney started to hand out dream oracle books. "Now, this is just a review of last year's subjects, but I would like you to practice interpreting others dreams'." She said in her misty voice. Ron and Harry groaned along with about every other person in the room. "In the mean time I shall be calling each one of you up to my desk, so that I can read this year's fortunes for you." Once again groans filled the air. "Hannah Abbot," she called.

            As Hannah walked up to Professor Trelawney, Ron turned to Harry and asked, "Well… What was your most recent dream about?" Harry rolled his eyes at Ron, for he had not had any dreams recently. Not even ones that some how included Voldermort. His last dream that he could remember had been two weeks ago, and had involved Sirius. And Harry did not care to share that with Ron. So instead he decided to make something up. "Well," he said, "I…um…I dreamt that the iguana had grown to be as big as Godzilla…" 

"Who's Godzilla?" interrupted Ron. Harry looked at him for a moment as if he was dumb, but then remembered that Ron had not grown up in the muggle world.

            "It's like a dragon, only it doesn't have wings. And it's from a muggle movie." Stated Harry. 

"Oh… But that still doesn't explain how tall he is." Ron replied. Harry paused for a moment to think of what Godzilla could relate to in the wizarding world. His thoughts went back to his 4th year, and the first task of the Tri-Wizarding tournament. "It's as tall as the Horntail that I was up against in 4th year." Ron's eyes just grew larger as he pictured the horntail, and then the iguana as large as the horntail. Ron sat this way for a few minutes, and Harry began to believe that Ron had started to imagine them going at each other. 

"Who's winning?" asked Harry. "The iguana…What? Oh… Sorry mate." Ron replied. Harry shook his head at Ron's ignorance, and then asked, "So do you want to hear the _rest_ of my dream now?" "Sure." Ron stated.

So Harry continued telling Ron his dream, and had just gotten to the part where the Iguana had started to ravage Tokyo, when they heard Hannah Abbot shriek. Many people thought that Professor Trelawney had told Hannah something particularly horrible, but when they looked round to see what was the matter they saw what the matter was. In the crystal ball was a very distorted looking iguana. In all of the excitement many people did not see that Neville had put his hand over his mouth and duck under the table. And those that had, thought that he was remembering the potion's accident, and was frightened out of his wits. 

Professor Trelawney's unusually large eye's had grown even larger behind her glasses. "Oh no!" she whispered. "The horrible thing I have seen! It's coming true!" she gasped. Ron and Harry just looked at each other as they heard Lavender and Pravati shriek, for the iguana had moved from out behind the crystal ball. "Stay back children," said Professor Trelawney. Lavender started to back away, and then noticed that Pravati had not moved, so she grabbed her robes. Lavender then started to whisper in her ear, and Pravati's eyes grew large. As Pravati heard the last of what Lavender was saying, she turned, pushed Lavender towards the trapdoor, and at the same exact time knocked over a cauldron full of love potion. Everyone turned at the loud crash that it made, and everyone froze. This was because the cauldron had been very close to Professor Trelawney's table, and with the iguana no longer in sight, no one had a clue how close it was too the potion. Once this thought had gone through everyone's minds, they ran as fast as they could towards the trapdoor. 

That's when it happened. Instead of an explosion, a 3 foot iguana appeared, and it kept growing. As soon as the last person had gone through the trap door, Professor Trelawney followed them. She tried to close the door, but there was a four foot around tail poking out. "_RUN!" she shouted. And as soon as Harry and Ron had passed Sir Cadogan and his stead, they heard a loud cracking noise, and felt a rumble beneath their feet. It was only till the next morning that they learned what had happened._

It seemed that the love potion had caused Iggy to grow so large that he could no longer fit inside the small, round classroom. And instead of stopping, he kept growing until he _WAS as large as a horntail. Once Ron had heard this, he had turned to Harry and said, "Blimey mate, I didn't know you had the inner eye!"_

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            Sorry for the long wait! But here you go! SO who should Iggy bother next? Find out in the next exciting chapter of **_If Only That Iguana Hadn't Showed Up!_**

Mystic_Grim


	4. Attack of the Chair!

Well hello! Sorry this has taken so long to put out! Happy Easter everyone, I hope you have a good day! Any ways! I have changed the title to be grammatically correct, so now it is **_If Only that Iguana Hadn't Shown Up_**. So ignore the title on other pages, this is still the same ole story! I do believe I have forgotten one of these in previous chapters but here is the disclaimer! _I have created this story out of mere pleasure, and have no intentions of publishing this _

_story for money, or any other deed. _I think that covers it! So now on to the story!

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**Chapter 4**

**Attack of the Chair!**

After the incident in the divinations tower, classes had been called for the day. Many students headed outside to take advantage of the shortening fall days, as did the trio, who headed towards their favorite oak tree. Hermione reached the tree first, sat down, and waited for Ron and Harry to join her, before asking, "What happened? Why did they cancel classes?"

Harry and Ron looked at each other for a moment, until Harry pointed in the general direction of what was once the North Tower. Hermione followed Harry's pointing finger, and looked out in to the blue sky. Hermione was in deep thought for a few minutes, until her eyes grew large, and she muttered something that sounded a lot like 'Merlin'. She turned back to the boys and asked, again, what had happened. Harry let out a sigh and started to explain. Soon the three of them were so engrossed in the story, that they did not notice Neville sneaking towards the Dark Forest, with something in his arms.

Once Neville had reached the tree line he stopped, and made sure no one was following or had seen him. He ran into the forest, and only stopped once he had reached a suitable clearing. Panting, he sat what he was holding on to the ground. Then he stood, hands on hips, and glared down at the iguana. "Well… What was that about? You didn't harm him in any way!" Iggy just turned his head to the right, changed color, and stuck out his tongue. "I don't care if that is what happened! We have transfiguration class on Friday, and I'm tired of bringing Trevor. So I think, instead, that I shall bring you," Neville said with an evil grin on his face. Iggy rolled in his tongue, and started to walk away. "I don't care where you go," Neville yelled, "but you better be back by Thursday night!"

~*~*~*~*~

It was clearly not a happy day at Little Hanglton, for it was raining cats in dogs. Voldermort sat in his manor, waiting, in his favorite arm chair facing the window. He had grown very impatient with Iggy, especially since the divinations tower incident. All though it was quite funny, it in no way had put a stop to Harry Potter. Voldermort was tapping his fingers together when he was interrupted by Wormtail. "My Lord," he said, "that iguana is here. Would you like me to send him in?" His lord just nodded his head, and Wormtail backed out. A few minutes later Iggy walked in, sopping wet. "What is the reason for that tower being blown up?" Iggy turned his head to the left, and swished his tail. "Orders? What orders? I certainly did not tell you to ruin the tower." Iggy changed colors this time. "Longbottom? Hum…." Voldermort thought of this for a while. "This could work to our advantage… Go now, and return to this Longbottom. Follow his instructions. I shall call on you when needed." Iggy turned and walked back out the door, and started on his journey.

~*~*~*~*~

_Friday Morning_

~*~*~*~*~

"Finally," Neville said, as Iggy walked up to him. "I was starting to worry." Iggy flicked his tongue and crawled into Neville's bag. Once they reached the transfiguration class room, Neville headed for the front of the room, and sat near the infamous trio. After taking out his books, and placing them on the desk, he took out Iggy.  Very few of the students saw him do this, and those that did, took little notice. The class began once the bell had rung, and the students took their seats. Professor McGonagall started to explain that today they would be transfiguring their animals into a very large chair. "It does not matter how big or small your animal is," stated Professor McGonagall, "What matters is that you say the incantation properly, otherwise something can go seriously wrong." Neville smiled at this. No one would suspect any thing was wrong if his spell did and would go horribly wrong. For he was Neville Longbottom, a bumbling fool, according to Snape. 

Harry, who was at the next table over, was petting Hedwig. He had brought her for today's lesson, with her permission of course. Turned to talk to Neville, and expected to see him struggling with Trevor. Harry was quite surprised when instead of the toad he saw an iguana. "Neville, where'd you get that iguana from?" he had asked. 

Neville, surprised by Harry's question, jumped. Turning to Harry, he let out a nervous laugh. "Oh… My uncle gave this to me, after his return from the Amazon. He hasn't heard about the iguana that's been running amuck here though." Harry nodded, and eyed Neville for a moment, before saying, "Oh well I was just going to ask you if you still had that galleon from last year, and if you do make sure to keep it close." Neville nodded, and turned back to the Iguana.  He wiped his forehead, and went back to what he was doing. 

"Alright class," said Professor McGonagall, "That enough practicing, let's get to work." Soon enough, every one had started to slowly change their animals into chairs. Hermione was the first one to successfully change her animal into a chair, and was soon going back and forth between the two. Neville on the other hand was having some trouble. He had tried the spell several times, with out any result, when he decided to twist the words a bit. Slowly mutilating the words, he slowly got a result. Soon enough the Iguana was a misshapen walking chair, with a tail and a long forked tongue, the size of Fang, Hagrid's dog. Iggy started to walk around the room like a wild and confused animal, not bothering about the desks, chairs, or students. Many of the male students could hardly resist laughing, while many of the girls jumped behind them. 

"Harry!" Hermione called out, as she gripped his shoulder for dear life, "You must do something! And quick!" Harry pulled out his wand and held Hermione behind him, as he moved to his left to avoid the chair monster. Neville, who was laughing, stepped around the misshapen iguana. Professor McGonagall, who had lost her cool, told everyone to leave the room, and quick. Ron, who was shell shocked, just stood there with his mouth open. He could not believe what he was seeing. For this was even worse than when his brothers had transformed his teddy into a spider.  The monster chair hurdled towards Ron, as he stood there unable to move. He barely got out of the way of the iguana chair, and came out of it with just a few scratches. Harry grabbed Ron by the scruff of his neck, and took Hermione's hand, and pulled both of them out of the room, leaving Professor McGonagall to deal with the freak chair. 

Once out of the room Harry received a warm hug, and a kiss on the cheek from Hermione. Harry blushed and paid little attention to Ron, who had noticed Neville stalk off towards the Gryffindor Common Room, red around the collar.

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Once again sorry this took so long! Read and Review please! TTFN!

~Mystic Grim~


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